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Careers at USTP-DHI

A boat in Thot Patrol livery, with text along the side reading "National Thottish Behavior Prevention"

Ready to discover your future as a Thot Patrol agent?

As a member of Thot Patrol, you'll secure our nation against the threat of thottishness on land, at sea, in the air, and in cyberspace.

Feel at home on the water? Take a position as a Thot Patrol Seaman and work to screen & intercept shipments of dangerous hard seltzer and 20 foot long phone chargers.

More comfortable behind a keyboard? Conduct OnlyFans surveillance operations as a Thot Patrol Simp Enforcement Agent. 

At USTP, your motivation is your only limit.

Click Here to View Open Positions & Submit an Application